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The Truth About Liking Yourself + Why It Matters

by Elise Museles

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A few days ago, I had just come in from a run and was doing my early morning stretch-and-Instagram scroll when I came across this startling image on my friend Sarah’s Instagram page.

In it, you see a young woman on a train. She’s staring into the middle distance and on the wall next to her is a flyer that reads, “In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

While I’ve never thought about it in those terms, I was taken aback by the truth in this statement. I’m a recovering perfectionist and over-thinker. I know what it is to doubt my choices, my habits, and myself. I’m very familiar with that tough inner critic. So the thought of standing up and saying “I like myself” feels terrifying and, yes, a little rebellious.

We’ve been taught that liking yourself or knowing and acknowledging your own strengths is a bit …uncouth. It’s more “appropriate” to self-deprecate when you receive a compliment or act as though all your success and accomplishments fell together with two parts luck and one part chance.

Can’t we all agree that it’s ridiculous?

Liking yourself isn’t about thinking you’re better than anyone else. It’s not about throwing up your hands and saying, “I’m perfect! There’s no room for improvement and I don’t need to work through any of my issues!”

Instead, liking yourself gives other people permission to like themselves, too. It sends the message: “I’m pretty great and so are you.” Liking yourself also shows people how you wish to be treated—you don’t say unkind things to yourself and you won’t allow anyone else to, either. And, yes, in the face of society-supported self-doubt, liking yourself is an act of rebellion—a loving and wonderful one.

So, I’ve dug deep and gotten honest about what I like about myself
and let me tell you, it was surprisingly difficult to say out loud. It would be much easier to admit to you that I second-guess everything (and drive myself crazy). Or, I would feel much more comfortable telling you that I’m constantly wishing I was tall enough to reach, well, just about anything.

But in the name of this loving rebellion, I’ve summoned the courage to share what I think are my best traits. I invite you to join me and start acknowledging yours!

1. I can get just about anyone excited about a healthy lifestyle (even teenage boys).
Enthusiasm and inspiration are contagious and I just happen to be extremely passionate about healthy living. If we’re chatting over coffee (or a turmeric latte), I can’t help myself—I just have to tell you about the new yoga class I’m trying or the roasted root vegetable salad recipe I created or how having a healthy gut can change your life. I want to bring everyone I love on this health journey, and I’m pretty good at convincing people to join me!

For years my teenage sons rolled their eyes and “Oh mom!”-ed me when I’d give them sliced veggies or fresh fruit for a snack, but I’ve since converted them. These days they actually crave healthy food and when they return home from a weekend of junk food debauchery with their friends, they beg for smoothies and roasted Brussels sprouts!

2. I can throw a great party + cook for a crowd without freaking out.
I love entertaining and—even more than that—I enjoy making every guest feel comfortable and appreciated. I have a knack for throwing everything together and having it seem effortless. But, beyond the delicious food and sparkling conversation, there is a warm and cozy feeling that my friends and family have when they come to my home—it’s nourishing in all senses of the word.

3. I’m loyal to an almost ridiculous extent.
Once you’re part of my life, you better get comfortable, because I’m in it for the long haul! I’ve had some of the same friends since high school and I’ve been going to the same hair stylist since I moved to DC. The same two people who helped me start Kale & Chocolate are still the two main players on my team! And if I think you’re great at what you do, I want to send everyone your way.

Let’s also not forget about my loyalty towards my pups. It’s a toss up whether I am more loyal to my dogs than they are to me!

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4. I call myself on my own b.s.
You know that friend who will level her eyes at you and lovingly call your bluff? I like to think I do a pretty good job of being that friend—to myself. When my self-care isn’t what it should be, when I’m not getting enough sleep, or when I’m straying too far from my true intentions, I have a serious conversation with myself and zero tolerance for my own excuses.

5. I can cook without a recipe.
This is one of the things that I appreciate most about myself. Why? Because as someone who has struggled with self-doubt, it feels like such an accomplishment to be able to get in the kitchen and trust myself to cook intuitively and whip up healthy, delicious meals for myself and for my family. And trusting yourself in one area of your life flows easily into trusting yourself in other areas!

6. I’m pretty fit.
This one was harder than I’d like to admit. It’s so difficult to say nice things about our physical appearance! It feels awkward and certainly not what we are accustomed to doing.

But that’s not what this post is about! So, as uncomfortable as it is to type this out: I’m in good shape. Did you know that I’ve run five marathons? And that my personal record is a 3:41 at the Boston Marathon? I still run, but now I like to mix things up. I challenge myself to stay as fit as I can, without getting too hung up on numbers or measurements.

7. I’ve got nice eyes.
My eyes are one of my favorite features. They’re big (like my mom’s) and brown (like my dad’s) so they’re a family reminder every time I look in the mirror. Though they might be surrounded by a few more smile lines than I’d like, I come by those smile lines honestly—by sharing lots of laughs with my friends and family.

Now it’s your turn. If it feels strange or difficult to name what you like about yourself, I get it! Let me leave you with one of my all time favorite quotes from Louise Hay:

Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

In the comments below, please join me. Tell me something that you like about yourself. Make it your one tiny act of rebellion today!

Photos by Rosa Loves DC

14 Responses to The Truth About Liking Yourself + Why It Matters

  1. mamaste October 15, 2015 at 12:59 pm #

    No wonder we’re friends! Many of the things you like about yourself are the same things I like about myself!
    Let’s start a revolution!
    And I’ll add a few things I like about myself to your list:
    1. I am extremely empathetic
    2. I am a good listener
    3. I think teaching is the greatest gift you can give someone
    4. I see connections in everything
    5. I can create a mean spreadsheet
    xoxo

    • Elise Museles October 15, 2015 at 1:39 pm #

      Mamaste! I’ll be part of this revolution. Your list is wonderful and all true! xoxo

  2. Nika October 15, 2015 at 1:25 pm #

    Wow. I love love love this post. As I read it, I thought – I don’t have this problem. And then you asked us to write down what we like about ourselves and I froze. 🙂 Okay… I have a nice smile and I easily make people feel comfortable and happy.
    Thanks for helping me rebel today!

    • Elise Museles October 15, 2015 at 1:39 pm #

      Thanks for rebelling, Nika! Those are wonderful things to like (maybe love!) about yourself. xo

  3. Jenna October 15, 2015 at 1:37 pm #

    I loved this post Elise…especially this part “Liking yourself also shows people how you wish to be treated—you don’t say unkind things to yourself and you won’t allow anyone else to, either.”

    Okay, here I go….I like that I listen without judgement & am empathetic.

    Have a great day:-)

    • Elise Museles October 15, 2015 at 1:40 pm #

      Hi Jenna! I’m so glad that you enjoyed the post. Thanks for sharing what you like about yourself! xo

  4. Hbwhite October 15, 2015 at 3:10 pm #

    Thank you for this Elise! Here is my act of rebellion! 1) I am really strong / physically and emotionally; 2) I am super smart; 3) I am a great public speaker; 4) I am have the ability to meet the most amazing people, connect with them and actually hear and remember what they say and become friends and 5) I have a strong sense of justice and always speak my mind! Whew! That felt good! What a great way to start the day!

    • Elise Museles October 16, 2015 at 5:06 am #

      Thank YOU Heather for starting your day on a rebellious note by sharing all the wonderful reasons why you like yourself! xo

  5. Andria October 16, 2015 at 1:58 am #

    Hi Elise,

    What a fantastic post! I loved the Louise Hay quote ..I have a daily calendar of hers with positive sayings and affirmations ! This isn’t an easy task for me ..but here goes:
    1. I am caring and warm ..make people feel at ease,
    2. I’m trustworthy and fiercely loyal and have an eclectic group of friends going as far back as grade school
    3. I love helping others and making them feel special
    4. I like my eyes and my smile
    5. Happy and proud of myself for trying new things out of my comfort zone ..Instagram and writing this down on your blog
    Thanks!

    • Elise Museles October 16, 2015 at 5:10 am #

      Andria,
      That calendar sounds so perfect. Even though we have only met virtually, I can tell that you are all of these things and more. You really have stretched yourself and gone outside of your comfort zone. Thank you for sharing and being a part of this community. xxx

  6. Reena October 16, 2015 at 4:21 am #

    #1 is totally right! I didn’t ever think a treat could be healthy until I started following Kale and Chocolate! I always thought eating healthy and enjoying food were two different experiences – thanks for changing that, Elise! And for being awesome in all the ways you listed and many others! 🙂

    Ok, now for rebellion…

    I think I am beautiful. I think that is the hardest thing for me to admit about myself. It is easier to admit intelligence or achievements etc. But I admit that when I look in the mirror I am happy with what looks back at me.

    • Elise Museles October 16, 2015 at 4:48 am #

      Reena,
      I LOVE what you shared. Thank you so much for joining the rebellion and acknowledging what you like about yourself. I really appreciate your enthusiasm and insights that you share with this community. xo

  7. Tina December 29, 2016 at 8:22 pm #

    I’ve never commented on any post before, but this feels like a step in The right direction for a New year ahead. Here goes
    1. I make friends easily and form great connections with people
    2. I’m funny and silly and a big kid! I guess that why me and my 1 and 3 year olds get along so great!
    3. I take great care of myself and children by nourishing our bodies with healthy smoothies every morning
    4. I love nature and nature loves me!
    5. I’m sexy damnit! Even with the extra 20lbs post children! I love my big curves!

    • Elise Museles December 30, 2016 at 4:21 am #

      Tina~
      I love everything about this comment. Thank you for sharing and stepping out of your comfort zone here. I think you’re starting out 2017 on the right note. Your enthusiasm will remind others to like themselves, too!
      Happy, Healthy New Year!
      xo
      Elise

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