March’s Tiny Change: Notice Your Subconscious Thoughts About Foodby Elise Museles
If you’re just joining us, this post is part of my year-long #12tinychanges challenge. Each month, we’re implementing one super small, super doable change—and over a year, it really adds up! You can read about all the #12tinychanges here and share your progress on Instagram with the hashtag #12tinychanges. (Did I mention that there are lots of theme-related GIVEAWAYS each month?! Read on!)
For the last six months, we’ve been making teeny, tiny, totally doable changes in the direction of creating and sustaining healthier lives. So far, we’ve talked mostly about how we fuel our bodies (getting organized with meal prep, eating breakfast every day, trying new plant-based foods, cooking at home—as in DIY) and how we treat our bodies (moving them more and resting them better).
But a perfectly fueled, wonderfully rested body won’t do us much good if it serves as a home for a negative, pessimistic, self-critical mind.
Have you ever found yourself having unkind thoughts like these?
“I can’t believe I ate all that pasta. I’m so weak.”
“How do I keep screwing this up? I told myself I wasn’t going to overeat and here I am, stuffed and unhappy. I should be smarter than this.”
“I know that dairy upsets my stomach, but I just ate half a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I’m so bad.”
I recognize them myself because this is something that I struggled with for ages. If I ate too much, I’d say mean things to myself. If I didn’t eat enough vegetables, if I ate mindlessly, if I told myself that I wasn’t going to finish the rest of the hummus and then when I did—I’d berate myself.
This food-related stress and anxiety isn’t just emotionally unhealthy: it’s physically unhealthy. Marc David, my mentor and founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, explains that our thoughts quite literally affect how our bodies function. Guilt and other negative, stress-related emotions trigger the release of cortisol, which can cause us to store more calories as body fat.
Thinking negative, stress-inducing thoughts after a meal impacts our digestion and nutrient assimilation and removes any pleasure we might have experienced while eating the food. To put it simply: the thoughts we think about the food we eat instantly become the reality in our bodies via the central nervous system.
By now, we’ve heard “you are what you eat,” but you are also what you think!
This month, let’s commit to stopping unkind thoughts before they even start. Here are three steps to help you release negative food and body chatter, once and for all:
1. Take note of when and how you say these things to yourself.
For many of us, these unkind thoughts are mental background noise. We’ve heard them so many times, playing on repeat in our heads, that we don’t even notice them anymore. Whether we are aware of them or not, they affect our self-esteem, our choices, and the hormones and chemicals in our bodies.
Noticing these thoughts is the first step to healing our relationships with food and our bodies.
2. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a young child or a dear friend.
We would never, ever tell a friend that she was “weak” for having a second serving of brownies, but for years I’d say things like this—and worse!—to myself. When I finally realized that my negative self-talk was a problem, I struggled to find positive, supportive things to say to myself. If you’re in the same boat, talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a dear friend or a young child.
“You’re doing your best.”
“You made the most of a tough situation.”
“You’re doing a great job—keep it up!”
“I’m proud of you.”
When we give ourselves the same amount of love and attention that we give to other people, our internal dialogue begins to shift. This can feel a little awkward at first, but keep the conversation going! Training a new behavior takes time, and once it’s ingrained, you’ll have swapped a harmful, unhealthy, and counter-productive habit for a positive, uplifting, healthy one. And I promise that using kind, supportive language in your conversations with yourself will help ease the food stress—and more!
3. Remember that you are the creator of your thoughts, so you can change them.
When we tune into our inner dialogue, it’s easy to feel a bit out of control. It can seem as though we’re being forced to listen to a radio station where a mean (or even spiteful!) DJ isn’t taking requests.
But it’s important to remember that our thoughts—both good and bad—originate from us. We are the creators of our thoughts, so we are capable of changing them. I can say to myself, “That’s how I was for the last XX years, but I don’t want to be like that any more. This changes now.”
Your mind is a one-person radio station—and you are the only one who gets to choose the playlist. Believe it or not, it’s all up to you! You can even try this trick for re-routing your internal monologue—The next time you start to hear the same unkind chatter that plays on repeat, I want you to actually think (or say!) the words:
“Stop. Change the station.”
Imagine reaching out toward the knob on your car radio and turning the dial. Or imagine pulling the headphones out of your iPhone and being greeted with glorious (and peaceful!) silence. Try it. You won’t believe how effective this can be!
Changing the way you think is a journey that requires a lot of focus and effort. Be gentle with yourself during this process and try not to get down on yourself when and if you have those negative thoughts again. They’re bound to resurface occasionally. Awareness is the first step here!
To help you have kinder & more loving thoughts, I’ve teamed up with some incredible partners to give you awesome and supportive tools for this month’s challenge. Think: Manduka yoga mats to help with the mind-body connection; the book that influenced me to reset my own relationship with food written by Marc David of The Institute for Psychology of Eating; Healing Crystals from Star Dancer Designs; a deck of inspirational cards, “50 Ways to A Better You,” created by Deckopedia….and more!
Remember: what you think is just as important as what you eat. And the only person who can change your mind is you. Let’s get started today!
Now it’s your turn: What are some of your tricks for noticing (and changing!) your subconscious thoughts about food? Share one tip below!