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Confessions from My Imperfect Kitchen to Yours

by Elise Museles

Confessions From My Imperfect Kitchen to Yours

Are we friends on Instagram? If we are, you’ve probably seen my colorful breakfasts (well-lit, in pretty wooden bowls). Maybe you’ve noticed my sweet fluffy assistants or my artfully arranged salads.

If you’ve ever looked at those images and thought “Well, I can’t make my meals look like that! Might as well bury my sorrows in cake,” please know that:

a) Those photos sometimes take a lot of work. When I post something to social media, I’ve usually looked for the right light, chosen the perfect plate or bowl, and then cropped or touched up the image.

b) I’m human. I make plenty of mistakes. There are days when I work too hard and sleep too little and just wish I could eat sweet potato fries or chocolate (anything!) for dinner.

Eating healthy doesn’t mean you must serve impeccably photogenic and beautifully plated dishes at every meal. Or that you need to make the right choices all the time. Strive for progress, not perfection. Celebrate your own baby steps towards a healthier kitchen and a healthier life!

In the name of progress over perfection, I want to share five of my most embarrassing kitchen confessions. Even us foodie health coaches don’t get it right every time!

1. The energy bars that kept falling apart

Energy bars are supposed to be a convenience food, right? We should be able to tuck them into a purse or bag and pull them out a few hours later (in tact) for an energy-boosting snack. They’re not called “energy little broken pieces all over the bottom of your bag.” (I solved the problem by soaking the dates, and now they’re amazing!)

And the blueberry cashew buckwheat breakfast bars that tasted so good but crumbled in my hands and all over my kitchen? I was ready to toss the recipe after multiple attempts. Trading in my frustration for some flexibility, I ended up turning the failed bars into my new favorite blueberry buckwheat granola.

2. That time no one liked my beet hummus

Now, I’m a deeply devoted beet lover. I’m convinced almost any dish can be improved with a hint of that delicious pink root. I loved my beet hummus recipe; who doesn’t like raw beets and tahini?

Lots of people apparently.

A friend told me it tasted like “dirt – or a mud puddle” and my sons rolled their eyes over it. Okay, I get it. I’ve improved the recipe. Roasted beets + chickpeas it is.

3. When I couldn’t figure out how to work my spiralizer

After seeing zucchini noodles all over Pinterest, I decided it was finally time that I try spiralizing for myself. So I bought this spiralizer, unpacked and assembled it and prepared to be wowed by a pile of delicious, healthy zucchini noodles.

Instead, my zucchini just sort of …. spun in a circle. It just sat there, mounted awkwardly on the spindle, twirling. What was I doing wrong? Did I get a faulty spiralizer? This spiralizer had 1,900 four-star reviews on Amazon!

And then I remembered that the rest of the world is right-handed. I’m left-handed and I’d been using it backwards! Now I eat zucchini pasta with pesto all the time.

4. That time I didn’t publish this recipe for two years because I couldn’t get a good photo of it

Have you tried my immunity soup? It’s fantastic – if I do say so myself. It’s full of herbs and spices that boost your immunity, and it’s easy to make a big batch for weekday lunches.

In fact, I’ve been making this soup for my family for the last two years, but I only published the recipe on my website a few weeks ago. Why? I couldn’t get a good photo of it.

5. When my signature recipe is so, so good and not at all pretty

As the name of this blog indicates, I love kale, and I love chocolate. I even created a recipe for Kale & Chocolate Chips! (it’s included in my Get Up & Green free ebook) Those chocolate kale chips are amazing – crispy, sweet, the tiniest bit salty.

They are not, however, attractive; they look like sad, wrinkly brown leaves. One of my favorite, healthiest, most delicious recipes – the one named after my brand! – is downright ugly!

What I’m trying to say is that healthy eating is a journey. You don’t need to wait for an Instagram-worthy meal or a complicated or trendy (hello, Vitamix) kitchen gadget to eat healthier. You can start today, where you are right now.

Every step counts.

Don’t leave me hanging – share some of your kitchen screw-ups in the comments!


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